Guest Strip by Onezumi Hartstein

Guest Strip by Onezumi Hartstein

Guest Strip by Onezumi Hartstein

by Steve Napierski to Comics

I really want to thank Onezumi for supplying me with today’s guest strip. This couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. Between last weekend and this weekend I am tired and swamped with stuff to do. So make sure to show some appreciation by checking out her comic here and also her blog here. Thanks a bunch.

Now as far as Dig Dug Asteroids as a movie. What the hell? Are you telling me that Hollywood is so hard up for movie ideas that a thirty year old game arcade game is one of the few viable option? You need a good science fiction movie that takes place in outer space as an idea for a movie? I got one for you. How about Galaxy Quest 2? There’s an idea for movie with already established characters and a good ensemble cast.

But my guess is that Hollywood is more interested in the awesome plot elements that Asteroids has to offer. Like how when the triangle shoots the asteroids they get smaller. Or maybe how if you go off the screen you’ll appear on the other side. What about how you can push the controller in one direction and keep accelerating faster and faster? And most of all how it gets old after a couple minutes of playing and you just decide to crash your ship triangle in an asteroid so you can call it quits. I can see that being really entertaining.

Hey, numb nuts in Hollyweird! Sinistar was another space shooter. It’s also a lot more recent than Asteroids so you know the kids will still think it’s hip. Plus, you have a real villain, too. Mother F’ing Sinistar! And that evil alien demon head is like friggin’ Unicron and Galactus all rolled into one. What’s wrong Hollywood? Do you fear Sinistar’s insatiable appetite. You weaklings. Run Cowards!!!

Don’t forget to stop by at see me at Otakon this weekend. I will be sitting right here. And if you bring old retro video games I just might take them from you and offer to sell you something in return. Hell, I’m in such a good mood I’ll sell you stuff even if you don’t bring and video games… but it helps.

Discussion (11)¬

  1. ItisI
    ItisI says:
    July 16, 2009 at 2:28 am #

    Or what about Starcraft? Man, they’ll never catch on how awesome that was (sorry, IS)

  2. Micha the Eupheminator
    Micha the Eupheminator says:
    July 16, 2009 at 3:17 am #

    Not to forget Sinistar Unleashed, a pretty neat little Space Shooter for PC.
    I HUNGER!

  3. Sammy
    Sammy says:
    July 16, 2009 at 3:59 am #

    Speaking of movie games, they’re making an Assassin’s Creed movie. It’s supposed to come out this year or next. It takes place about two weeks before the game.

  4. SGYDK
    SGYDK says:
    July 16, 2009 at 8:43 pm #

    Hell, assassin’s creed makes a much better movie than asteroids. I’ve never played it, but I know that it at least has a plot. and characters.

    Asteroids has maybe 2 characters at most. the player and that ship that shoots at you. and asteroids, but those dont count. I wanna see how they make this movie last two hours. It’ll be hilarious in its own special way.

  5. Savanti Romero
    Savanti Romero says:
    July 17, 2009 at 7:32 pm #

    No matter how much I hope and pray, a Zelda movie never gets made!

  6. Oloeopia
    Oloeopia says:
    July 17, 2009 at 8:42 pm #

    What’s next pong the movie?
    In all honesty with hollywood’s history with movies based on games (watch the super mario movie and cry) I hope they never make a Zelda movie.

  7. Rap
    Rap says:
    July 18, 2009 at 4:24 am #

    Or what about Raptor: Call of the Shadows, or even better, STAR friggin CONTROLLER!

    http://www.3drealms.com/raptor/index.html
    http://starcontroller.com/

  8. Ayersy
    Ayersy says:
    July 20, 2009 at 6:21 am #

    Assteroids?! Daaayam….that’s weak. Who’s doing it? Uwe Boll or Paul Anderson?

    How I hate you Paul Anderson…so very VERY deeply….

    What?

  9. Onezumi
    Onezumi says:
    July 20, 2009 at 6:22 pm #

    The only thing worse is Etch a Sketch the movie :PREHISTORIC VIDEO GAMES! :D

  10. Wharthon
    Wharthon says:
    July 20, 2009 at 7:51 pm #

    Next thing…

    Minesweeper: The movie

    http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1770138

    I know it’s fake but…
    I really won’t be surprised when it’s not

  11. Sammy
    Sammy says:
    July 20, 2009 at 11:13 pm #

    Hollywood and Game developers don’t get it at all. Movies based off games are shit and vice versa.