System of the Downtrodden [ COMIC ]

Gone are my days where I have endless amounts of time to sit down in front of a console and play video games. Oh how I long for those days, but real life has a horrible way of sneaking up on you and ending such merriment. Oddly enough, in a time consuming turn of events, I now find myself sitting on the toilet and playing games on my iPhone for long periods of time. My wife is ever ready to inform me that I’m going to get hemorrhoids from such events, but my ass and longing for such gaming interaction say, “Hemorrhoids be damned!”

For the amount of time that I actually get a chance to game nowadays, I definitely get my money’s worth on the iPhone. While not as deep or intense as the games I can get from their console/computer brethren, the games I do play make comparable substitutes. I can still get all my favorite genres represented on the device, just in more bite size versions. And where a 15+ game on the console is considered getting my money’s worth out of a $60+ game, as long as I get 2+ hours of gameplay out of a $1 download I am more than happy.

Nonetheless these smaller versions are just a temp fix. As just like methadone, it can never be a substitute for the real thing.


  • angelson1992

    Hm, first comment. Cool. BTW, I really did enjoy the comic and can see how time constraints definitely kill gaming time for everyone eventually. As for me, it’s more studying for test than a job or anything like that but I’m still lucky to be able to squeeze out a half hour of gaming with the ridiculous amounts of homework I get so yeah. Now quite the same but the younger generation’s view on similar topics. I guess.

  • Oscar

    Dude, that’s what laptops are for.

  • David Herbert

    Yeah, I’ve noticed less gaming in my life as well. Perhaps I should invest in an iPhone to play with?

  • bidoopoo

    Buy one of those “remote caddies” and you can clip it to the toilet tank and put a spare Nintendo DS and a couple of games there too.

  • Anon

    I must disagree. The DS is the superior crapping platform… or at least it is until you drop the stylus ;_;

  • Drake

    Dude. Just get a damn DS.

    • I own a couple Nintendo DSs. My phone is always in my pocket, so it’s always available. While the DSi is not much bigger than an iPhone, it’s still a little unwieldy to carry both items around. Especially when one is essential and the other is not.

  • Randomgamerdude

    Hey and when you get old, get yourself an iPad!

  • At least you’re not playing Tetris on the crapper. Really though, the simplest things can be the most entertaining. I remember when I could be entertained forever with just a stick and my imagination. If you evaluate all of your games on a time : money ratio, I’m sure you’d find a lot of surprises.

  • Jarrett

    This is why I carry my PSP or my DS in my pocket everywhere I go.

  • Chaos

    I see you pulled the “same panel 3 times” trick again.

  • Vess

    A word of caution, I just developed hemorrhoids at the age of 31. Even if it wasn’t the leading cause, playing the DS in the bathroom probably didn’t help me.

    • Randomgamerdude

      I think that was caused by having the free time to play video gamers on the crapper.

  • Falos

    Laptop master race here

  • David

    What you should do is get an old LCD, a micro PC and a gamepad. Bolt the LCD/PC to the toilet door and then you can play SNES games on demand. Couple it with a heated toilet seat, a fold down table and a drink machine and you’ve got yourself the perfect little command center.

    • IIMcCainII

      Yeah, and never ever leave the toilet again…

  • BigLord

    Long live portable gaming.

    I think the same, except I use a Nintendo DS. Oh and by the way, I DO carry my DS Lite everywhere I go. On my backpack.

  • Ashley F

    This could also be called “The Joys of Being a Parent and a Gamer.” I swear, the only time I have to myself nowadays, if I wasn’t deployed, would be in the bathroom.

  • Asquian

    I find the DS/PSP tend to do for my lavatory gaming needs. Although I warn others against getting embroiled in a game of DQ9/FFT:tWotL, as your legs will fall asleep.