Somebody Set Up Us the Bailout [ COMIC ]

The United States Government decides to give loans to the struggling insurance corporation American International Group (AIG). First in the amount of $85 billion, then increased to $152 billion and now it stands at $170 billion USD. Then, AIG took $165 million USD from this loan and gave it as bonuses to its executives. After that happened, tax payers got outraged. Upset with what AIG did they demanded that the government do something to resolve this situation. So, the House of Representatives quickly passed a bill that would virtually tax these bonuses out of existence by taxing them at 90% rate. And here we are.

So why am I talking politics on a gaming comic? Because this situation really pisses me off.

Look, you may not like what AIG did with the loan they received, but it was a loan. When you receive a business loan from a bank, the bank does not specify you what you can and can’t do with every nickel and dime of it. There may be guidelines or a certain direction, but mostly they just want you to pay the money back. And hell, you may not like AIG’s decision, but it was their decision to make.

Regardless, that’s not what’s pissing me off. It’s this bill that the House of Representatives passed that’s got my all riled up. Why? Because it’s unconstitutional and they should know better. The United State’s Constitution directly says, “No Bill of Attainder or ex post facto Law shall be passed.” (Article 1, Sec 9.) Which means that legislation is prohibited from punishing or penalizing a specific person or group without trial. And that exactly what this bill is doing.

Now, I know that if this bill is ever seen before the Supreme Court it will be dismissed (they’ve actually read the Constitution before). But it shouldn’t have to. It should have never reached this. And if the government didn’t want this money going to bonuses, they should have specified that in the loan before they gave it to AIG.

So if you really what to blame someone, blame the government. They dropped the ball on this one and they’re the ones back-pedaling with their tails between their legs.

Oh, and I used President Obama in the comic because it’s his party that’s in control of the House and he is the most recognizable/important Democrat in the world as well. Also, a lot of you just wouldn’t get it if Nancy Pelosi was in the comic instead. You’d be all like, “Who’s that crusty old woman?” And I’d say, “Don’t you recognize your momma?” And then you’d be like, “Oh, no he didn’t…” And then, I wouldn’t respond because I was too busy having sex with your mom. See, this just works out better this way.

Update: A lot of you have been commenting about the large sum of money going to the bonuses. Let me put it in perspective a little. $165 million is less that 1/10 of 1% (.097) of $170 billion. That would be like you giving someone a hundred dollar bill and they take a dime of it to buy some nasty hard candy.

One other thing people may not have taken into account is that AIG might be contractually obligated to give their employees these bonuses. And if they chose not to pay them, this might have resulted in class action lawsuit that resulted in AIG paying even more money in the end.