It’s Not My Fault…

It’s Not My Fault…

It’s Not My Fault…

by Steve Napierski to Comics

Ironically enough I actually had my ass handed to me, during a few rounds of Fruit Ninja, by my rotund friend at Intervention the weekend before last.

Personally, I do not own a Kinect. Nothing so far about this peripheral has screamed “must have” for me yet. Fruit Ninja did come close, but I don’t feel that’s reason enough to drop $120+ on the device. My daughters might get a kick out of it, but then again they’ve already got their own Leapster Explorer and LeapFrog LeapPad that they play and at least those are educational. The only education you’d really get an Xbox 360 is to always turn your volume off when on Live, regardless of your gender play as a guy so you don’t get hit on and no matter what games you might play sooner or later someone will comment on your sexuality. So…I think I’ll wait.

I know there’s a lot more excuses people claim for why they lost. Feel free to post some of your favorite ones in the comment section below.

Discussion (32)¬

  1. BigLord
    BigLord says:
    September 30, 2011 at 1:56 pm #

    *Virtual Boy*

    … I seizured.

    • jizzypuff
      jizzypuff says:
      October 6, 2011 at 9:56 pm #

      thats not cool i actually got a seizure while playing a game :(

  2. Rahentho
    Rahentho says:
    September 30, 2011 at 2:29 pm #

    The Green Flashlight
    The Bat-Man
    The Flush

    • Demigod of After Dinner Mints
      Demigod of After Dinner Mints says:
      October 1, 2011 at 1:10 am #

      +10 internetz for the avatar alone.

    • Wendel
      Wendel says:
      October 3, 2011 at 11:19 am #

      What the hell, I recently read all of Problem Sleuth and Homestuck (all of them), then suddenly everyone on the internets has Homestuck avatars. I could swear they weren’t there a month ago.

      • Demigod of After Dinner Mints
        Demigod of After Dinner Mints says:
        October 4, 2011 at 7:07 am #

        This. XD

  3. Peekaboo
    Peekaboo says:
    September 30, 2011 at 5:19 pm #

    HEY!

  4. Brefin
    Brefin says:
    September 30, 2011 at 10:59 pm #

    The Wii: (a midst a broken TV) The strap broke.

  5. Gamegeneral
    Gamegeneral says:
    October 1, 2011 at 12:07 am #

    A few personal favorites.
    “You were screen looking!”
    “The Rainbow Road shortcut isn’t fair!” (It totally is, suckaz)
    “You gave me the bad controller!”

  6. Scott
    Scott says:
    October 1, 2011 at 12:13 am #

    “My wifi USB dongle glitched causing my PC not to detect it until it reconnected 25 seconds later.”

    True story.

  7. bidoopoo
    bidoopoo says:
    October 1, 2011 at 2:24 am #

    “The computer cheated.”
    “The sun was glaring off the screen.”
    “I forgot to put in the Konami code before we started.”

  8. sarlacc
    sarlacc says:
    October 1, 2011 at 2:38 am #

    “You are a homosexual, there may also be something peculiar about your mother’s weight and/or recent sexual activities and this somehow grants you an unfair advantage.” paraphrased.

  9. zophah
    zophah says:
    October 1, 2011 at 9:58 am #

    “I tried to help but you were beyond my spell range.”

  10. Vis
    Vis says:
    October 2, 2011 at 1:20 am #

    “A tortoise knocked over my router.”

  11. Kaci
    Kaci says:
    October 2, 2011 at 6:51 pm #

    A teammate: “Sorry about that guys. My three-year-old stuck a fork into the light socket.”

    • Jeff
      Jeff says:
      October 4, 2011 at 9:38 am #

      Either that, or “my kid just woke up.” A few times playing at night my little girl woke up so I would hide in a corner to go check on her, only to come back and find I’d been kicked and given negative feedback for being a quitter.

  12. Gerry
    Gerry says:
    October 2, 2011 at 8:02 pm #

    “Hey, stop using telepathy on me.”

  13. ThePeebs
    ThePeebs says:
    October 3, 2011 at 7:16 am #

    “OMG Your talking/whispering/whatever distracted me!”
    And Steve, this is why I’ve never invested into a headset for COD. I invested in one for WoW, and suffered the consiquences in Ventrilo. The conversations usually start with: “OMG, he’s like 12!” “No, can’t be” “WAIT” “ITS A CHICK” “Can I see your boobs, are your boobs big…etc?”

    • David
      David says:
      October 4, 2011 at 1:47 am #

      As a guy whose girlfriend plays online games the worst ones to listen to are the ones who don’t commit to hitting on the girl. The ‘show us your tits’ crowd are obnoxious but at least they’re upfront and it’s over and done with relatively quickly. It’s the ones who know the girl didn’t come online to get hit on but still turn every discussion into a clumsily attempt at flirting but make sure to never actually cross the line into hitting on the girl (usually throwing a fair few ‘show us your boobs! Just kidding!’ lines in). It’s not that I think they’ll succeed or anything, it’s just sort of embarrassing. I feel like I have to apologise on their behalf so women don’t think all shy, nerdy guys are like that.

      • ThePeebs
        ThePeebs says:
        October 4, 2011 at 7:17 am #

        Been there done that.
        Trust me, it’s just as embarassing when they’re not aware your husband is in the room or on Vent. I usually turn red, and honestly don’t know where to go from there. I had a guy that the second my husband got out of vent, he would “ask for advice” with women, usually ending with “omg, I wish I had a chick like you”. It’s embarassing and what do you tell the husband? The 18 year old online is hitting on me again?

  14. nicofportland
    nicofportland says:
    October 3, 2011 at 11:18 am #

    “i click the button and nothing happens”
    “wtf the game is hacking me”

  15. Shuttur
    Shuttur says:
    October 3, 2011 at 12:16 pm #

    very good… I was thinking about posting this to our site.

  16. Emj4ye
    Emj4ye says:
    October 3, 2011 at 6:36 pm #

    Haha. Panel 3 is me. Although I have lost weight since I bought my Kinect… :P

  17. Adam
    Adam says:
    October 3, 2011 at 9:49 pm #

    A fat gamer…NO, NOT TRUE!

  18. Justin T. Southerland
    Justin T. Southerland says:
    October 3, 2011 at 11:22 pm #

    my favorite and still all time best is…”your talking to me!”

  19. jetfirexx
    jetfirexx says:
    October 4, 2011 at 1:37 am #

    ‘The wifi glitched out’
    ‘The server crashed’
    ‘Its my little sisters fault’
    ‘The game hates me’
    ‘I am too thin t does not recognise I am there’

  20. SKOOOTA
    SKOOOTA says:
    October 4, 2011 at 4:05 am #

    Piss off GRAVATAR… Trying to Market and Corner the Avatar into a sellable product.. GTFO…

    You make me sick…

    Cool cartoon though…

  21. ImpofthePerverse
    ImpofthePerverse says:
    October 4, 2011 at 4:26 am #

    “The artifical sun was in my eyes”
    “Oh I thought I was Mario” (despite having declared loudly at the beginning who you were picking because Mario sucked)

    “Meh, I let you win”
    “You’ve had more practice than me”
    “I’d have won too if I’d had picked the cheapest character” (Next round they pick the character you just had…and still loose)
    “This game plays completely different compared to [previous/next game along in the series]”
    “I need to loose sometime otherwise people might think I’m a hacker”

  22. LB
    LB says:
    October 4, 2011 at 8:00 am #

    “A temporal anomaly opened into my front room that was ten seconds into the future, I saw I won and thought ‘that’s not really a big deal’ so I stopped playing.”
    “There’s only three hours to save the earth.”
    “The Zombie apocalypse is going on outside and I didn’t want to disappoint them.”

  23. sinni800
    sinni800 says:
    October 4, 2011 at 8:39 am #

    “YOU F* PIECE OF S* HACKER/CHEATER!” … Oh wait that’s not an excuse.
    How about “This game cheats me! I was hitting the button like a houndred times but the game didn’t want me to use this move.”? Very popular. Or this one: “I’m good at this game but when I play against someone else / when someone else watches I suck.” True story though. I know I can play the game, but I keep getting jittery and start to suck bad as soon as I play against someone sitting next to me. My fingers stop listening to my commands then :(

  24. Milander
    Milander says:
    October 4, 2011 at 2:12 pm #

    Just wait until the release a porn game for the kinect.. those things will fly off the shelves.

  25. NickNackGus
    NickNackGus says:
    October 4, 2011 at 3:44 pm #

    On a computer with NVIDIA 3D Red/Cyan glasses, playing Portal 2: “Sorry! My portals are identical in 3D!”
    This has happened to me. The other player thought I was color blind. I used voice chat to explain. Colors are changed (pure red turns black) to make the 3D work without getting rid of all the colors. It’s generally worth having the 3D, but I’d like to change how it converts colors.