Every year that goes by I find it harder and harder to argue the necessity of consoles. I honestly cannot believe I just typed that.

Love the Ren & Stimpy throwback of this video. Now if you will excuse me, I am off to play Buttcraft.

Looks like Polygon is at it again. This time they have moved away from consoles in order to give us a brief history of PC gaming. And while there are definitely a lot of major games left out of the video, it is rather impresses which ones they were able to cram into two and a half minutes of footage.

Let me tell you, it wasn’t easy. Not because I couldn’t find reasons to justify why PC gaming, but because there really aren’t any arguments/stereotypes towards console gamers that could be deemed as personal attacks. Remember, I’m not trying to logically justify one media over the other here. I’m just trying to add fuel to the fire and watch the flames grow.

For example: “Hey, console gamer. You’re stuck with inferior hardware, it’s got lower screen resolution, you can’t upgrade it, the limited choice of games you have cost more than their PC equivalent and you’ve got no mouse or keyboard that greatly diminishes playability of certain genres of games.” How can you get mad at that? Pretty much everything mentioned is indisputable and if you do want to dispute it there’s more than enough facts/figures online to easily prove the statements as true.

Now look at other side: “Hey, PC gamer. You’re a social reject who’s only friends are the people see online, but I guess that works for you. Imagine you actually had a girlfriend, then you wouldn’t be able to spend all your free-time and money upgrading your PC for the latest thing Gabe Newell let you suckle from his sweaty teet.” Now those are definitely stereotypes and derogatory comments that people could take offense to. Justifiable? Maybe for a select few, but definitely not a majority. But still, they do make for good internet fodder.

The reality is, at the end of the day, a case could easily be made for why to choose one platform over the other depending on the individual and their end goal. But this is the internet. We’re not trying to logically discuss anything. We just want to see how long it takes before Godwin’s Law goes into affect…And maybe see some porn along the way, as well.

I want to give credit to Jack C., our resident anti-console/pro-PC commenter, as he is the inspiration for today’s comic. Not because I’m taking some sort of stance on PC vs. console gaming. If you hadn’t notice the title of today’s comic does say Part I in it. That means there will be a console gaming followup with lots of console jokes. “You mean like the Nintendo Wii?” Hey, who said that?

No, the reason for the comic is because the ongoing feud of which is better for gaming, PCs or consoles, is a pretty heated debate and I just love adding fuel to the fire. Remember, I’m a Mac user. So by default if I want to game I can either game on a console, buy a PC to game on or run some sort of PC emulator on my computer…But that’s kinda like moving out of the city to avoid the rampant crime only to invite a drug dealer to come live with you when you get there.

So enjoy Part I. I’m going to be working extra hard on Part II as myself predominantly being a console gamer I want them to be doubleplusgood. And for the female PC gamers out there… I’m sorry. I know some of these jokes may or may not necessarily apply to you. I wasn’t trying to be exclusive. Just joking on male PC gamers was more funny for me. I’ll try to make fun of you later.