We have these black fuzzy spiders about as big as your thumbnail that like to hide up under the lips of things like trashcans, twitchy-quick little bastards and they like to jump, *Mom* “Jon would you take out the trash?”, *Me* “NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE”.

Although there are these tiny house spiders that build little webs near the kitchen sink faucet and up in the window behind to it, we leave them alone because we noticed just how many flies they catch. And if I manage to catch a fly, I’ll throw it into one of the webs.

And I hate summer, every other day a wasp somehow gets into the house. Cockroaches I hear are actually pretty clean, but I’ll still kill them on sight, and if one takes to the air you can probably hear my girly screams from space.