This level of frustration is part of the reason why I never move the icons around on my Apple iPhone. That and the fact that I still own an iPhone 3GS and I’m afraid it will break if I do.
This is also true for Android phones.
I’ve used android for years, and I’ve never had this problem. Mainly because I use ADW Launcher, and it has a very user friendly interface. I can easily move icons around, resize widgets etc and never have a problem. Every new phone I get has the same, familiar interface that I know and love.